VaYishlach (1): Fearing Fear Itself

ויירא יעקב מאד ויצר לו

And Yaakov was very afraid and it distressed him.

The news of the impending arrival of Eisav was surely a source of great tension for Yaakov. But why does the Torah need to say that he was afraid and distressed? Isn't one sufficient? R' Avraham Chayim of Zlotchov in the Orach LaChayim explains as follows:

Each earthly feeling that we have is connected to a higher plane of emotional reality that our souls are connected to. A consuming desire for something mundane is really a fallen knock-off of love for the Almighty. The soul only seeks to cleave to G-d, but the journey that feeling needs to take until it reaches the forefront of the active awareness is very long and distortions creep in along the way. So too, when one finds himself afraid of something - be it the dark, monetary issues or anything - there is a call from Heaven to translate that emotion back into its proper state. To strip the mundane feeling of its earthly shell and return it to its source which is Yiras Hashem, fear of G-d. (This is a massive topic in the Sforim HaKedoshim and we are only touching the most basic explanation of the topic.)

When one is able to elevate the fear of his enemy into Yiras Hashem, the threat of the enemy is automatically neutralized. The only reason the opponent was there in the first place was to inspire an earthly fright that could be rectified and returned to Hashem. Once that's done the enemy has no power anymore.

Yaakov was very frightened of Eisav. And in-so-much as he was scared, that's how much strength Eisav had to potentially terrorize him. This fear of Eisav was a source of tremendous distress to Yaakov Avinu!

 This explains why the Torah mentions both fear and distress. The fear was due to Eisav, and the distress was a result of that fear. It was for this reason that Yaakov needed to be saved. For only because he felt fear in his heart was Eisav actually a threat.

Hashem should help us to access the the deeper source of our thoughts and feelings. No matter what it is that we are consciously experiencing, the soul hears the internal echoes of what is really going on under the surface. For in every situation, in every moment and thought is there a bridge that can connect us to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with HaKadosh Baruch Hu.

Vayeitzei (3): No Eyes On You

אכן יש ה' במקום הזה ואנוכי לא ידעתי

The simple translation of Yaakov's declaration is, "There certainly is G-d in this place, and I didn't know." Perhaps we can offer an alternative understanding that will teach us a fundamental concept in Avodas Hashem. But first we need to bring down a small introduction.

The Kever of the Hafla'ah

The great R' Pinchas Horowitz (and here), Ba'al HaHafla'ah taught the following lesson about the adage of Hillel, "אם אני כאן הכל כאן, ואם איון אני כאן מי כאן?" If I am here, every one is here. If I'm not present, who's here at all? This was said in the context of him dancing at the Simchas Beis HaShoeva. Hillel was declaring himself the life of the party.

But these words have a deeper meaning. A person who holds himself in high regard is subject to the trials of peer pressure because he needs to constantly check his self worth against the feedback of others. The more "I" matter, the more powerful the people around me become. But if a person deepens his humility and cares only about his relationship with Hashem, suddenly everyone else ceases to make an impact. Hillel was saying that if the "I" is here, if I consider myself a big deal, then suddenly everyone is here - the people around me become an emboldened presence, crushing me with self-consciousness. However, if the "I" is removed from the equation and I eliminate my personal biases, then "who is here?" - no one at all. Just Hashem.

R' Mosheh Sofer, zy"a
the Chasam Sofer

Says the Chasam Sofer, based on this idea we can understand our Passuk. Yaakov after experiencing this amazing prophetic revelation exclaims, "There is Hashem in this place, ואנכי לא ידעתי - because I stopped being so aware of the "I". This is such a powerful idea and it is the key to serving Hashem even when it means going against the grain. Our lives are such that we find ourselves in situations not conducive to spiritual growth and sometimes even directly opposing it. But Yaakov Avinu in this one moment instilled in our hearts the ability to tune everything out and - like Hillel - dance like no one is watching.

Vayeitzei (2): You Deserve It

When Yaakov awakes from his dream and continues on his dream towards Lavan he makes several requests. In one of them he asks for, "ונתן לי לחם לאכל ובגד ללבוש" - food to eat and clothing to wear. The issue is that the Torah could have cut out the words "to eat" and "to wear". It's obvious what the purpose of asking for food and clothing is. Is there any kind of food that isn't for eating or clothing that isn't for wearing?

The Kever of R' Moshe Leib of
Sassov, zy"a and other giants

R' Moshe Leib of Sassov  (and here) points out that oftentimes people are stuck in situations where there is plenty of food they cannot eat. Allergies, aversions or simply disliking. A grown man can wear a baby girl's onsie. A wealthy expert in  fine style will be emotionally challenged when facing the need to don work-man's clothes.

Yaakov was asking (for himself and all future generations) that not only should Hashem provide him with clothing and food, but it should also be fitting. The food should be delicious. The clothing should be respectable.

Hashem can do anything and the Jewish people deserve the best. We should not be afraid of expressing our hopes and dreams to the Almighty. There is no request too small or too big.

Vayeitzei (1): Serving Whilst Sleeping

When Yaakov Avinu awakes from his dramatic prophecy the ladder stemming from earth and ascending to the heavens, he makes the following proclamation:

אכן יש ה' במקום הזה ואנוכי לא ידעתי. For there is G-d in this place! And I didn't know.

Isn't Hashem everywhere? Doesn't Yaakov Avinu know that? This Nevuah took place on Har HaBayis, the temple mount. This is the holiest site in the world. Of course there is Hashem in this place.

The Beis Medrash of R' Avraham
Yehoshua Heshel in Mezhibuzh

The Ohev Yisrael of Opta explains based on what we are taught by Chazal that before arriving at this scene, Yaakov spent fourteen sleepless years in Yeshiva. He never went into a bed, rather he dozed as he sat erect and continued Shteiging as soon as he came back to his senses. These fourteen years were a spiritual bubble. The environs were perfect for growth. He worked non-stop without any counter force. What could be better? What emerges is that this is the first time that he properly laid down in much more than a decade! This was Yaakov Avinu's first good night sleep.

We don't have any recorded accounts of Yaakov having any sort of Nevuah at all during the years he spent isolated in his study marathon. Suddenly, now when he is sleeping does he perceive such majestic inspiration. This came as a total shock to a man who did not sleep for fourteen years.

This is the meaning of אכן יש ה' במקום הזה ואנוכי לא ידעתי, Yaakov was now privy to understanding that Avodas Hashem permeates the whole universe, even in the most unlikely of situations. He can come close to the Creator even through sleeping.

Life provides us with unexpected twists and turns, but Hashem is present in every scenarion.

Toldos (2c): Polishing the Soul

We mentioned in a previous post that there is an important concept within the topic of the rectification of souls that although each Jew is obligated to keep all of the Mitzvos, each Jew is charged with a particular mission rooted in specifically one of the Mitzvos.

The Ba'al Shem Tov explains that this is the meaning of what it says in the Gemara, "רבי במאי אתה זהיר טפי" - The students ask the teacher, "Rebbi, with which Mitzvah are you most careful about? However, explains the Ba'al Shem, the word Zahir doesn't only mean careful, it comes from the root Zohar which means to shine and glisten. As is obvious, spirituality is likened to light. It is more delicate and refined than physical matters. Thus, a totally rectified soul is described as pure light. The students are really asking, "Rebbe, what makes you shine? What makes you sparkle? What is the one Mitzvah of all Six-Thirteen that your soul is dependant on?

Each one of us needs to ask ourselves, רבי במאי אתה זהיר טפי? 

Rosh Chodesh (1): Free Roaming Slave

In Halel (recited on Rosh Chodesh) we say the following:

אני עבדיך בן אמתך פתחת למוסרי

I am the servant, son of your servant. You have released my bondage.

This verse is perplexing at first glance. If the bondage has been released, then how is David HaMelech still claiming to be a servant. And what difference does it make that his mother was a servant as well?

Reb Menachem Medel of Vitebsk explains:

The Kever of R' Menachem
Mendel in Teveria.
He stated explicitly in his
will that no praises should
be inscribed on the tomb

A servant of a wealthy person comes into contact with all of his master's possessions. How can the master ensure that the slave doesn't steal his riches and run away? Obviously, precautions need to be taken. However, this is not the case with a slave that is born into slavery. His life has always been that way and therefore he doesn't seek to return to a previous state of freedom like the first slave we mentioned. He doesn't know any other life and is thus trusted to roam the estate and handle his master's affairs with care. We don't need to tie him down and lock him in to prevent his escape.

This is what David HaMelech is saying. We explained in a different post that Hashem entrusted the Jewish people to mold history and take the reigns of the world. But how can He be sure that we won't run wild and make matters worse? "I am your servant, son of your servant. You have released my bondage." I have Avodas Hashem in my blood. I come from a lineage that finds its roots in the Avos HaKedoshim. And thus you have 'let me loose' to do with the world as I please, directing it towards the ultimate good through my learning, Davening and Mitzvos.

Toldos (2b): A Drunkard and the Rain

In a previous post we mentioned that sometimes a soul comes down to this world in under an interesting set of circumstances formulated to help them accomplish a particular Tikun.

A story to bring out this point:

There was a period of time where the districts surrounding the Ba'al Shem Tov  were suffering from heavy drought. The Ba'al Shem directed his students to look for such and such a person in a particular town. They would be able to find him in a particular inn. This man had the keys to open up the gates of heaven and return the rain-fall.

When they arrived at the inn and asked about the man's whereabouts the innkeeper replied that while the man was a total lowlife and completely useless they would be able to find him near the fire. They inquired as to what the innkeeper meant by useless. They were told that this man rises early in the morning, dons his Tefilin, recites the first portion of Davening and then proceeds to drink himself into a perpetuated stupor that lasts the whole day until he blacks out. The next morning he repeats the process, and so is his life.

The Chassidim, although confused, did not forgo on their mission to receive a blessing from this man that the rain should return. They waited for him to rise and begin his prayers, and they confronted him just before he started to imbibe. They declared themselves students of the Holy Ba'al Shem and requested his blessing. Slightly perplexed, the drunkard gave his Brachah none the less and then continued on with his originally planned consumption.

The Ba'al Shem later explained that this man was, in his previous Gilgul, a tremendous Tzadik and Talmid Chacham. However, for a number of reasons he was often unable to put on his Tefilin for the start of Davening and often had to wait until further along in the service. He was therefore sent back down to this world in order to polish up this one, tiny blemish on his otherwise lofty soul. Thus he would arise, put on his Tefilin, Daven and lose the rest of his day.

Toldos (2a): One Mission

ויבז עשיו את הבכורה

And Eisav disgraced the position of the first-born.

Rashi on this explains that the Passuk is teaching us that the abandonment of the Bechorah by Eisav was the ultimate and definitive display of Eisav's wickedness.

This requires a clearer understanding. Aside from rejecting the first-born's rights, the Gemara lists that Eisav did four sins on this fateful day: He took for himself an already-engaged girl, he murdered, he blasphemed and denied G-d and finally he denied final reincarnation, Techiyas HaMeisim. It would seem that passing up priestly duties and honors is vastly less severe than the other four sins of that day. Yet, this is the only one mentioned in the Torah, and Rashi describes it as Eisavs paramount evil act. What's going on?

Rebbe Yitzchak of Bohush (a grandson of the saintly R' Yisrael M'Ruzhin zy"a) explains this based on a novel Chassidisheh idea about the rectification of souls. We all know that a Jew often enters and re-enters this world to perform various missions and correct previous mistakes. This concept is what we know as Gilgulim and is from the most complex and profound topics in mysticism. Chassidus teaches that sometimes a soul is so near perfection that it must return to Olam HaZeh under awkward circumstances tailor-made to deal with one particular issue. Of course, this person is obligated in all the Mitzvos, but Hashem is looking out for this one unique issue. Everything else is icing on the cake.

Says the Rebbe, Eisav's particular mission was to perfect the realm of Bechorah. This task the priestly duties originally bestowed upon the first-born and the complex Avodah of elevating the physical through accepting things like Ma'aser and Matnas Kehunah. This was his central job. However the allure of the Bechorah was not quite enchanting enough and he sold it off for a bowl of soup. In doing this he effectively aborted his life's mission.

While it's true that he did severe sins that day, and many more before and after, the Torah only explicitly mentions this singular act. This raises a powerful point: We each are responsible to keep all the rules, but Hashem designed each of our lives to aide us is carrying out a particular Tafkid, and our whole life depends on it. If I don't get in contact with that unique point in my soul I've missed the whole point of being here. However, if I fully invest my inner strength into 'it' I will get to experience the joy - in this world and the next - of truly having been myself.

More on this to come...

Toldos (1b): The Two Wings of Mitzvos

In the previous post we explained that Yaakov, who embodies balance could only come into the world after there was a mutual dynamic of influence between Avraham and Yitzchak. Avraham's love needed to be able to lead to fear, and Yitzchak's innate fear had to find a niche in a backdrop of love as well. The lesson of all this being that we need to find balance in our own Avodas Hashem and hyper-focusing on one mode of service is bound collapse.

Based on this we can understand a cryptic statement of the Zohar that says that Ahavah and Yirah are the wings of Mitzvos.

The Tanya explains this profound concept as follows: A bird is healthy without its wings. It can survive just fine. But it cannot fly, and a flightless bird can hardly be called a bird at all. It is lacking its very essence. Mitzvos can be executed to the utmost Halachic exactitude without a drop of feeling - and the deed will have been done. But a Mitzvah that doesn't strengthen my relationship with the Divine is empty at its core.

But it doesn't end there. For just as a bird needs two wings to soar, so to the elevation of a Mitzvah depends on the utilization of its wings, namely Ahavah and Yirah. With only wing, one can only stay airborne for so long until the inevitable crash comes. So too in our carrying out of Mitzvos must we always be mindful of out intentions.

Toldos 1(a): Balancing Love and Fear

ואלה תולדות יצחק בן-אברהם,  אברהם הוליד את יצחק
And this is the legacy of Yitzchak the son of Avraham: Avraham gave birth to Yitzchak.

There are two main issues that require addressing. First of all, why do we need to repeat twice that Avraham was Yitzchak's father. The Passuk starts by saying that Yitzchak was the son of Avraham and then repeat that Avraham gave birth to Yitzchak! This is obviously redundant. Secondly, the Passuk clearly indicates that we are coming to hear about the legacy of Yitzchak, namely the birth of Yaakov. What does the identity of Yitzchak's father have to do with the birth of Yitzchak's son?

The Yesod Ha'Avodah of Slonim explains some fundemental concepts to clarify these questions.

The original Slonimer Shul in Lita

The Sefarim HaKedoshim have taught us that Avraham Avinu embodied serving Hashem through love. Every action was both a source of fascination and inspiration. Hashem even calls him "My loved one". Yitzchak's natural mode was that of serving Hashem through fear. In reference to this we often hear the term פחד יצחק, Yitzchak's fear. This is the tremendously abridged version of a topic that encompasses oceans of ink.

Serving Hashem through fear (Yirah) at its most basic level means doing what the Master says regardless of how much I understand and not withstanding how deeply I understand. However, serving Hashem through love (Ahavah) is motivated by the desire to become one with the Creator. The more I understand that which I am doing, the more I can feel that connection.

Neither mode is sufficient by itself. There are times that call for me to turn off the self and just do as I am told, and there are other scenarios that require an emotional investment. This inner-knowledge is in of itself a third trait of truth and balance. This is Yaakov's Midah of Truth, as it says "תתן אמת ליעקב", Give Truth to Yaakov.

In order for Yaakov, the embodiment of אמת, to come into the world then Avraham's Midah of Ahavah needs to be tempered by Yitzchak's Yitah and visa versa. So when coming to tell us that Yaakov was coming into the world we need to know that this balance was found. Yitzchak was the son of Avraham: This means that Yitzchak understood that fear needs a background of love. And when the Passuk continues and says that Avraham was the father of Yitzchak the meaning is that Avraham understood that Love needs to also be able to lead on to a place of fear. Once this equilibrium was established was the universe ready to accept Yaakov.

ואלה תולדות יצחק בן-אברהם,  אברהם הוליד את יצחק
And this is the legacy of Yitzchak the son of Avraham: Avraham gave birth to Yitzchak.

A Thought from R' Tzadok (5b): Handing Over the Keys

We explained in a previous post that Hashem creates the world in the form of how the Yidden are learning the Torah and doing Mitzvos. Let's explain things a bit more deeply.

The first Pasuk of the Torah, בראשית ברא אלקים את השמים ואת הארץ has the exact amount of words and letters (seven and twenty-eight) as the Pasuk that precedes the giving of the Torah over to the Jewish people, וידבר אלהים את כל הדברים האלה לאמר. What is the meaning of such a parallel?

Just as the first Pasuk signifies the introduction of the creation of the world, this aforementioned Pasuk is the introduction to the giving of the Torah. Hashem created the world in the Psukim that follow Bereishis and gave over the Torah in the Psukim that follow VaYidaber Elokim. The Lubavitcher Rebbe explained that Hashem executed a recreation process when the Jews received the Torah. Now the Torah - the blueprint of the world - was being handed over to them. Thus as we learn and develop, the blueprint evolves and the world changes.

Chayei Sarah (2b): Giving Away what isn't Mine

In a previous post we explained how Avraham Avinu tapped into the Midah of Kol (everything) in order to attain satisfaction in life. Attaining this attribute means that I have exactly what I need and anything else is as if it doesn't even exist.

With this is mind we can explain an interesting Medrash. The Passuk says ואברהם זקן  that claims that Avraham lived to a long life in the merit of כל, which is a reference to the Mitzvah of giving Ma'aser. This is because the Passuk says, ויתן לו עשר מכל, And you shall give him tithes from כל, from everything.

There is an interesting Israeli statistical phenomenon that poorer, Torah based communities give a collective amount of charity that exponentially surpasses richer business communities. The explanation is obvious. If I believe in Hashem and I know that He commands me to give Ma'aser and Tzedakah, then I have no problems parting with my money. The money that I'm commanded to give away isn't even mine! I'm just holding on to it until the proper recipient comes around. This is essentially the Midah of כל that we have been describing. When the Passuk says, ויתן לו עשר מכל it means that the driving force behind your Giving of Ma'aser will be your inner connection to כל.

This is also could be the meaning of the Bracha that we say in the morning: שעשה לי כל צרכי - You have made for me everything that I need. Alternatively we can read these words to mean "You have given me 'כל', You have filled my heart with inner peace. And that's the only thing I really need."

A Thought from R' Tzadok (5a): Updating the Blueprint

Hashem gave the Jews so much power over the world. He endowed us with tremendous responsibility to ensure that only positive energies reverberate through the universe. Through our actions the scales of good and evil are tipped. Let's explore how this works on a technical level.

The Medrash clearly states the just as a contractor looks to his blueprints and builds his towers, so too Hashem used the Torah as the "map" of the world. 

Our sages teach us that Hashem, the Torah and the Jewish people are one unit. הקב"ה וישראל ואורייתא חד הם. This does not mean that we are equals, ח"ו. The Ramchal in Adir BaMarom explains that The Torah is the manifestation of G-d's Will and the souls of the Yidden and rooted in the letters of the Torah. We are the vehicles of actualization of the Divine Plan.

The new souls of Am Yisrael in each generation learn the Torah anew, arriving at novel understanding and developing unique approaches of analysis. Hashem constantly shapes the world around the Torah that the Jews are learning in any particular Dor, for we are drawing the "map" of that era. This gives great insight as to why different styles of learning are used in different demographics and in different times. The Torah HaKedosha melds itself to the souls of those who learn it and fulfill their spiritual and intellectual needs; and the world follows suit.

More on this to come...

Chayei Sarah (2a):Satisfaction Guaranteed

ואברהם זקן בא בימים, וה' ברך את אברהם בכל
And Avraham was old; coming of days. And G-d blessed Avraham with everything.

Here we mentioned one explanation of this verse, let's now approach it from a different, yet complementary angle.

The famous question addresses the need to state that Avraham was both old and coming of days - this is seemingly repetitious. Also, being as it is obvious that Avraham did not own every piece of property in the world, what is the meaning of being blessed with "everything". Perhaps we can answer both questions with one answer based on a fundamental principle.

Our tradition teaches us that a "most people pass from this world without having half of their desires fulfilled." This is due to another teaching that "he who has silver desires gold," and "he who possesses a hundred gold coins seeks only two have two hundred." Our desires are ever-expanding , but our capacity to attain them remain limited. Thus (paradoxically) the more we have the bigger our eyes become and we feel even less satisfied. Affluence becomes the very source of dissatisfaction.

This is the driving force behind the rat-race that propels the material culture of "keeping up with the Joneses", "Conspicuous Consumption" and "Status Anxiety". Hard working men and women ignore their financial accomplishments of the past and focus only on climbing higher up the economic ladder. Materialism is a hunger that when satisfied only generates a more voracious appetite.

However, through faith that Hashem gives me exactly what I need then everything else in the world almost ceases to exist. I simply own everything that there is to own. My pantry and bank account are filled-up just right. My wardrobe is in sync with me and the fashion scene. My car and house serve my needs perfectly. איזה הוא עשיר השמח בחלקו. Who is rich? He who is happy with what he already has.

This is the meaning of when Yaakov says to Eisav, "יש לי כל" - I have everything. Compare that to Eisav's declaration of "יש לי רב" - I got a whole bunch. If that's the case, he's doomed to want more and more and more. Yaakov on the other hand attained the Midah, the attribute of "Kol", I have everything I need and all the rest is irrelevant.

Hashem blessed Avraham with the Midah of יש לי כל. This is the meaning of וה' ברך את אברהם בכל. Because he was divinely inspired into a state of deep satisfaction his days were full, not empty. He was able to look back on his life with a sense of fulfillment. However, there are so many who lack this and feel as is - in spite of all they have done - that life passed them by and was one big missed opportunity.

Hashem should bless us with the Midah of Kol as well.

Chayei Sarah (1): Going Grey and Golden Years

ואברהם זקן בא בימים

And Avraham was old, full of days.

The question on the wording of Passuk is obvious: What meaning is added with the phrase, "full of days"? Is it not enough to simply write that Avraham was old?

Says the R' Eliezer Horovitz of Tarnigrad in his classic Noam Megadim clarifies an important point about aging. "Going grey" is often associated with stress. Wrinkles above the brow are a symptom of worrying too much. Simply, people 'grow old' from stress. Stress is the friction of life. And just as enough friction can wear down a mighty boulder into a small stone, so too enough stress ruins our posture, sags our shoulders and saps the zest out of life.

But there is another way to age. The feeling of kicking off your shoes and sitting down on the couch at the end of a long, hard day. Sure, you're wiped and there's not a drop left in the tank, but you don't feel bad about because all that effort was well expended.  Hard work and accomplishment puts our aging onto a much more sagely backdrop.

This the meaning of Passuk. Avraham grew old. Why? He was full of days, or in other words, his days were full. He had a life filled with so much hard work, he so profoundly developed himself, he overcame so many tests and adversities that he simply achieved truly Golden Years.

We expend so much energy letting ourselves be torn apart by our experiences. We allow for many chips on the shoulder. We drive ourselves crazy chasing fads, fashions and cheap experiences that drain us of satisfaction. Hashem should help us and bless us that we invest our life-force in the right things, in the endeavors that will fill our lives with depth and meaning.

Vayera (4): Out Into the Distance and Back Again

ואני והנער נלך עד כה ונשתחוה ונשובה אליכם
Avraham says to Yishmael and Eliezer, "The lad (Yitzchak) shall travel out there, we will bow and then we will come back to you."

The Heilige R' Aharon M'Zelichov in the Ohr HaGanuz asks that if we know that every word in the Torah is both precious and precise, what are we supposed to learn from this particular piece of dialogue. We need to know that Avraham made Yishmael and Eliezer aware that he would leave and come back? There must be a deeper intention.

What Avraham was telling them was not about travel plans as much as it was a spiritual lesson. In order to understand this teaching we need to first present two concepts. First, the word for "out there" that is used in the Pasuk - כה - is a rare term that denotes unspecifity. Somewhere near the horizon. Secondly, the idea of bowing manifests a nullification of the self. Chazal describe death as ואל העפר תשוב, and you shall return to the dust. Full-out prostration is on a certain level the complete Bitul of one's ego and desires, a total union with Hashem.

Avraham was explaining that he and Yitzchak were about to partake in the most powerful spiritual experience of there lives. There was no telling how high their souls would soar. We are going out as far as Hashem will let us and we will engage in completely unheard of levels of Dveikus. This is the meaning of ואני והנער נלך עד כה ונשתחוה.

But Avraham continues and says, ונשובה אליכם. We will come back. We will land back on earth.

This is the great existential truth of Ruchniyus. It ebbs and flows. It pulses back and forth. A person goes on with his day even after a really good Shacharis. This concept is called רצוא ושוב, running forth and subsequently retreating. The soul must strike a delicate balance. On the one hand it wants to leave this earth and fully bind itself to Hashem. However the reality persists that Olam HaZeh is the platform of Avodas Hashem. Even more paradoxical is that a Mitzvah is really potent enough to simply blow us away into nothingness and Hashem lets us live through the experience. (the Ba'al Shem Tov would bid his loved ones farewell before going to Daven Minchah. He was unsure if he would survive the Dveikus!)

The Jew constantly sways between the heights of ואני והנער נלך עד כה ונשתחוה, and the grounding effects of  ונשובה אליכם. Such is life. We can take pleasure in riding the dynamic waves of life.

Vayera (3): Sitting on Fire

וירא אליו ה' באלני ממרא והוא ישב פתח האהל כחם היום

The Parsha opens up with Hashem appearing to Avraham as he sits atthe opening of his tent. But before the divine conversation can ensue Avraham abandons his talk with the Lord and chooses to service Arab passerby with food and drink. Avraham clearly cannot satisfy his thirst to do Mitzvos.

Where does this amazing drive stem from? How can we attain it?

The Noam Elimelech explains the following two verses in Tehilim:

פתחו לי שערי צדק אבא בם אודה קה. זה השער לה' צדיקים יבאו בו

Open up for me the gates of righteousness, I shall enter them and thank the Lord. This is the gate to Hashem, the Tzadikim shall pass through it.

There is a seeming contradiction between the two verses. On the one hand we hear David HaMelech asking to be shown the way in towards Dveikus. However, right after he seems to be pointing to that very gate. Moreover, we are dealing in the world of text - we don't see the gate even if you tell us, "Here it is!" What's going on here?

The answer is simple but powerful. The "way in" to Avodas Hashem is to ask where is the way in. In other words, having the humility to know that I'm just starting, but confident enough in myself to allow for the vulnerability to turn to Hashem for help. What is the Sha'ar La'Shem? What is the gate? Asking, "Pischu Li". He who asks, he who yearns and searches will be shown the way. The one who thinks of himself as accomplished and self-reliant sadly hasn't even begun his journey.

R' Yaakov Abuchatzera,
The Abir Yaakov

We think that sitting is a passive act, but Avraham was sitting and waiting for the next opportunity, the next moment to jump at a Mitzvah. He was burning up. Rebbe Yaakov Abuchatzeira directs us to read the Passuk as follows: והוא ישב פתח האהל כחם היום - And he was sitting like the sun itself! He was ablaze. Just as fire latches onto whatever it can and spreads with ferocity, so too Avraham was sitting at the opening of his tent waiting to ignite another soul, to pass on inspiration to the next available recipient.

Because Avraham was constantly asking פתחו לי שערי צדק - "I feel like I'm just starting. There is so much yet to do." This feeling is in of itself the key to greatness, זה השער לה' צדיקים יבאו בו.

Vayera (1b): Bring Along the Old Me

We explained in a previous post that Hashem upped the ante in the test of the Akeida by demanding of Avraham not to make the experience dry of emotions, rather to enter his full self into the picture. Avraham accomplished this and more.

The Pasuk says that when he went out to find the predetermined location he took Eliezer and Yishmael with him on the journey. "ויקח את שני נעריו אתו" He took the two lads with him. Rashi here brings from the Medrash and the Gemara in Chulin that this is the source that an important person must be accompanied with an entourage.

Rav Yitzchak of Radvil (and here) in the Ohr Yitzchak explains that while this is where we learn that an Adam Chashuv doesn't travel alone, this could not have been Avraham Avinu's intention. Avraham in this very Parsha describes himself as עפר ואפר, dust an ashes. He doesn't need the ego trip. So while we do learn the Halachah from him - what were his personal feelings?

The Rebbe explains that the words שני נעריוcan be translated not only as the two lads but also as "the years of his youth." Let's explain the implications of this re-reading.

Oftentimes when we seek to grow, we think that we need to destroy all connections to our former selves. Our exteriors vastly change. We estrange ourselves from past acquaintances. We take on personas foreign to our nature. While there is often a need to make powerful changes, the goal of Ruchniyus is not to forget who we naturally are but rather to include all facets of ourselves in our relationship with Hashem. When Chazal exclaim "חיילך לאורייתא" - plug your strengths into the Torah, they are telling us not to be cookie cutter. Each person based on his or her background, with their uniqueness and individuality has something special to bring to the table. Don't ignore that.

This is what is means when the Passuk is read that Avraham Avinu brought the years of his youth with him to the Akeida. He brought his whole life, his whole being and his total self. All of the longing to have a child, all of his innate desire to give all of his struggles and feelings of love. All of this and so, so much more was included in this amazing journey towards his greatest test.

Hashem wants this from us as well, and Avraham Avinu implanted in our souls the ability to come through and accomplish this amazing feat. We too can take every face and facet of our incredible souls, every experience we've ever had - our שני נעריו - and incorporate them into our relationship with Avinu SheBaShomayim.

Vayera (1): Feeling Your Feelings

When Hashem commands Avraham to bring Yitzchak as a sacrifice, Yitzchak is specified as בנך, יחידך אשר אהבת, the son, the only one, the one that you love. What is gained by adding the description of "the loved one?"

At the Kever of the Chidushei HaRim

Says the Chiddushei HaRim, for Avraham to go into a stoic trance, divorce his feelings towards his son and only then slay him, then the impact would be less. To become an emotionless zombie and then draw the knife is much less of an accomplishment.  HaKadosh Baruch Hu was telling Avraham Avinu to enter into an emotional storm. "This is the son you love. I know that. You know that. Give Me that love. Don't ignore it." To fully experience his affection towards Yitzchak and give him to Hashem none-the-less is a far greater display of Dveikus.

This is incredibly relevant to our Avodas Hashem. For example, Chazal tell us that when we reject non-Kosher food we should not take the attitude of "that is gross", rather we should let ourselves feel our internal push to take the cheeseburger and then not eat it because our relationship with Hashem comes first.

Avodas Hashem is so much more potent when we are not robots. Hashem wants us to feel our feelings bring them into the experience. It's okay to feel things like "this is hard" or "this is challenging my Emunah." My Avodas Hashem is so much more complex and nuanced when I become close to Hashem with all facets of my being. Angels don't have feelings, but people do - and Hashem wants us.

Lech Lecha (3c): Without Carrying Baggage

We explained (here) in the name of the Ohr HaChayim that Avraham set himself apart in his lack of self-grandeur. A famous story to illustrate the point:

The Chofetz Chayim lived very modestly. His house contained within it only the simplest of furniture and nothing was new or shiny. Once, a rich man who was traveling on business came through the town of Radin, where the Chofetz Chayim lived, and made an appointment to go and speak to the Gadol in his home.

During their discussion the man suggested that perhaps he could provide some funding to better furnish the Rav's living space. The Chofetz Chayim replied, "Where are all your things?" The man explained that his luggage was waiting outside. "No," said the Chofetz Chayim, "I'm talking about your cutlery, your beds and cabinets. I want to know where your table is. Have you brought those?" The man - slightly confused - replied, "Well I don't need all of things, I'm only passing through Radin." The Chofetz Chayim bore a warm, sagely  grin and said, "I'm also only passing through Radin."

This is the Jewish outlook on Olam HaZeh. This is not the final stop. 'Things' in whatever form we need them are nice and important but we don't lose sight of the real finish-line.

Lech Lecha (3b): Cancel the Parade

In a previous post we addressed the Passuk  that says, ויעבר אברם בארץ עד מקום שכם. Let's explain this interesting terminology of "passing through" from a slightly different perspective.

We all know that Avraham was a one man revolution. We went against the grain. The Ohr HaChayim HaKadosh points out one way he was radically different than the whole world. Most of the world thinks of themselves as important. Haughtiness is pervasive throughout the culture weather or not it is deserved. Avraham was in fact a man of esteem. A political rebel, the leader of of a massive spiritual movement and rooted in the world's wealthiest dynasty. Such a man could walk as tall as he wanted and no one would second guess him. Yet he carried himself as a transient vagabond. He didn't make a scene or generate fanfare. While he could have surrounded himself with an entourage and a parade where ever he went he chose to always seem as if he was just passing through. He would walk on eggshells and not disturb the scenery.

This is not only the meaning of the Passuk when it says, ויעבור עד מקום שכם. The Ohr HaChayim continues and says that this is the source of why we call our prototypical patriarch אברהם העברי, the term Ivri finds its source in the word VaYa'avor. This shunning of the fanfare that this world so commonly craves is the essential Jewish trait.