Vayera (4): Out Into the Distance and Back Again

ואני והנער נלך עד כה ונשתחוה ונשובה אליכם
Avraham says to Yishmael and Eliezer, "The lad (Yitzchak) shall travel out there, we will bow and then we will come back to you."

The Heilige R' Aharon M'Zelichov in the Ohr HaGanuz asks that if we know that every word in the Torah is both precious and precise, what are we supposed to learn from this particular piece of dialogue. We need to know that Avraham made Yishmael and Eliezer aware that he would leave and come back? There must be a deeper intention.

What Avraham was telling them was not about travel plans as much as it was a spiritual lesson. In order to understand this teaching we need to first present two concepts. First, the word for "out there" that is used in the Pasuk - כה - is a rare term that denotes unspecifity. Somewhere near the horizon. Secondly, the idea of bowing manifests a nullification of the self. Chazal describe death as ואל העפר תשוב, and you shall return to the dust. Full-out prostration is on a certain level the complete Bitul of one's ego and desires, a total union with Hashem.

Avraham was explaining that he and Yitzchak were about to partake in the most powerful spiritual experience of there lives. There was no telling how high their souls would soar. We are going out as far as Hashem will let us and we will engage in completely unheard of levels of Dveikus. This is the meaning of ואני והנער נלך עד כה ונשתחוה.

But Avraham continues and says, ונשובה אליכם. We will come back. We will land back on earth.

This is the great existential truth of Ruchniyus. It ebbs and flows. It pulses back and forth. A person goes on with his day even after a really good Shacharis. This concept is called רצוא ושוב, running forth and subsequently retreating. The soul must strike a delicate balance. On the one hand it wants to leave this earth and fully bind itself to Hashem. However the reality persists that Olam HaZeh is the platform of Avodas Hashem. Even more paradoxical is that a Mitzvah is really potent enough to simply blow us away into nothingness and Hashem lets us live through the experience. (the Ba'al Shem Tov would bid his loved ones farewell before going to Daven Minchah. He was unsure if he would survive the Dveikus!)

The Jew constantly sways between the heights of ואני והנער נלך עד כה ונשתחוה, and the grounding effects of  ונשובה אליכם. Such is life. We can take pleasure in riding the dynamic waves of life.